carnac the magnificent curses

By

carnac the magnificent cursesbluntz strain indica or sativa

A: Eight is enough. The character was introduced in 1964. CARNAC: May your wife give mouth-to-mouth resusitation to Ed McMahon would hand Carson a series of envelopes containing questions, said to have been hermetically sealed and kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnallsporch since noon today.. Ed McMahon was a huge part of the bit. -- Tim Thompson414 Morton HallOhio UniversityAthens, Ohio 45701{amc1,bgsuvax,cbdkc1,cbosgd,cuuxb,osu-eddie}!oucs!tim. Commissary. Hoffa. parents. So I created my own character, CLARNAC the Magnificent and created my own material as a tribute and for my own amusement. hajahe155 6 yr. ago. A: Dustin Hoffman. A: Kumquat. #10. I have been collecting some things that are kind of obsolete now. The Question: How much did Clarnac lose on his 30 day diet? shorts. . on a country? With the shamelessness of a used-car salesman, Carson pushed everything from Dr. Pepper to hemorrhoid cream with a Shakespearian twist. promises. The Question: My grandpaw walked five miles a day when he was 60. Q: What do they call the entrance to "The Gong Q: What does a masseuse do to your dub-dub? Carson would place each envelope against his forehead and predict the answer, such as Gatorade. A: "I never promised you a rose garden." A: Deep freeze. Q: How does Howard Cosell call his toupee? Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate. May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt. Line: 315 Today, that number is 1 in nearly 50,000 in many Western countries! A: The 11th Hour. A long running bit on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show.Carson would appear in a turban and cloak as "Carnac the Magnificent" . Q: Name a bake-off, a hiccough and a ripoff. May the bird of paridise fly up your noseMay an elephant caress you with its toesMay your wife be plaqued with runners in her hoseMay the bird of paridise fly up your nose, Ron Williams (not Tom Nadas, but an incredible simulation)--, UUCP: {decvax,linus,ihnp4,uw-beaver,allegra,utzoo}!utcsri!tomCSNET: tom@toronto, "Look over there, a dry ice factory. A: Ransack. Hand made. In one instance, Carnac tripped and broke the desk! Q: Name three things on the endangered species list. The "Carnac the Magnificent" segments were always good for laughs, from the moment "Carnac" entered the studio and walked off in the wrong direction, then corrected himself only to trip on the step at the edge of the set at the beginning of every segment. girlfriend. The Question: Name a childrens nursery rhyme to be screamed every time Hillary Clinton opens her mouth. A: 13 Queens Boulevard. May a love -starved fruit-fly molest your sister's nectarines. A: "Gung Ho!" plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. CARNAC: May your desert pension fund be managed by Jimmy CARNAC: May you be forced to visit a near-sighted Q: On a cold morning what forms on your david? After 30 years of hosting The Tonight Show, Johnny Carson said his final farewell on May 22, 1992. "How you must dread going to bed!" exclaimed Cynic. The crowd is hostile. . One of Carson's most well known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the east" who could psychically "divine" unseen answers to unknown questions. Q: If voters have their way, what message will Jimmy Carter CRITIC "When I look at one of your paintings I stand and wonder" ARTIST "How I do it?" CRITIC "No; why you do it." You can always tell the English, You can always tell the Dutch, You can always . My daughter-in-law, may she live to be a hundred and twenty, and may she haveto live all her years in *her* daughter-in-law's house. Carnac the Magnificent was one of the most popular recurring roles that Johnny Carson played on his show in 1964. Q: What do you call Hershey's Prune Kisses? A: Once is not enough. Q: On a cold morning, what forms on de-grass? A: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. Q: What should you answer to everything George Foreman Q: What is a drink made with soy sauce and prune juice? After displaying a chip that looked like a pear, Myrtle turned away just long enough for Carson to crunch down on one of her priceless potato creationsor so it seemed. Q: Describe the five finalists in the Miss Universe Clarnac: May a diseased shih tzu hump your grandmothers good leg. Question: "What does a doctor use to look at your kaleido?" Stumble It! A: Head and shoulders. A: Beethoven's Fifth. Lot #220 ED McMAHON JOHNNY CARSON CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT HAT. Q: What made Ludwig blind as well as deaf? Function: view, Recurring character on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose, "Ed McMahon,'Tonight Show' Stalwart, Dies", "STERNAC THE IMPROBABLE RETURNS WITH ANSWERS ABOUT NASCAR, GAMESTOP, AND JASON KAPLAN'S DIET", Here's Johnny: Magic Moments from the Tonight Show, Race Through New York Starring Jimmy Fallon, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Carnac_the_Magnificent&oldid=1065449461. doctors. Its hard to divine when you cant see. A: "The Dumplings." his neck? Jackie Lynch 242 followers More information compartment in your sister. Q: What were some of the earlier forms of Preparation H? Q: Name two movies and a suppository. , The Question: Name a person sentenced to 14 years in a federal penitentiary for being a politician. Box 4, Folder 45. A: Sir Lawrence Olivier, the Oscars and the oil shortage. Amazon's Choice for carnac hat. The Question: Name three things in New York that may run forever. Q: Name a chimp, a champ and a chump. The Answer: Because they are afraid someone will clean them. As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed and kept in a #2 size mayonnaise jar on Dr. Faucis porch since noon today. Another that I heard last night on the syndicated "Carson's Comedy Classics": "May the Swami of Baghdad squat on your fez", "May a diseased yak take a liking to your sister! knows the contents of these envelopes, but you, in your divine and borderline mystical way will ascertain the questions having never before seen the answers. In article <42@kestrel.ARPA> t@kestrel.ARPA writes: > Comedic or not, "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" is. A: Double hernia. She was cursed to have pain during pregnancy, childbirth, and raising the children (see Genesis 3:16), yet the pains of pregnancy and childbearing have been significantly eased in our times thanks to modern medicine and inventions like the epidural anesthetic. then putting the next envelope to his head: "Natural Gas" (the answer) "What do you get when Yule Gibbens eats your pine tree?" Falling in Love Again (1980) with Susannah York, The Hollywood Knights (1980 . Size: One SizeColor: Jumbo Gold/Purple Verified Purchase. One? I just got a new DVD, and I am really excited about it, but I miss my childhood a little bit I guess. Q: What do you call an outhouse built on quicksand? "Answer: Donald, Benji, and Alexis CarringtonRips open envelopeQuestion: Name a duck, mutt, and a ****.Karnak foresees the answer -- "Bobby Orr, Bobby Hull, Ed Sullivan. Q: Who do you go to when you have a pain in your hickory Lot Closed - Sold Price: Estimate: $ 400 - $ 600. May you get your first French kiss from a diseased camel. A: The big ten. While all were memorable, its her duet with Carson thats particularly unforgettable. While in the past it was very common for women to die in labor, it is now very rare in modern hospitals. A: 20,000 Leagues Beneath the Sea. Question Man". A: Old wive's tale. Q: How do you say "Good morning" to your diddly The Answer: Confused, weak, feeble, and uncertain. The curse concept was created by "Tonight Show" head writer and Woody Allen collaborator Marshall Brickman. Q: What would you see if Orson Welles dropped his pants? It is original material for the most part. Q: What do you call not getting busted? folks who ran "The Tonight Show" in the 70's. The Answer: Howdy Doody, Jerry Mahoney, and Joe Biden. The Tonight Show: four-digit numbers (ostensibly the last four digits of an audience member's phone number).Carson Carnac the Magnificent: Carson plays a psychic . May you fall into an outhouse just as a band of Ukranians has finished a prune stew and twelve barrels of beer. What do you look for when you're tracking three whackas? Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.One of Carson's most well known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the east" who could psychically "divine" unseen answers to unknown questions. The Question: Name one of Washington DCs many famous oxymorons. CARNAC: May a weird holy man light a Roman candle in your A: Hog jowls, chitlins, black-eyed peas, cornpone, hush I'm being held prisoner on a God-forsaken island! CARNAC: May a weird holy man drop a cactus down your Q: What do you get from a bee that has an udder? The Answer: An I-Phone, a cable bill, and a BMW lease. Q: How much time has Governor Brown spent in California dee? "Opens envelope for question: "Name two hockey players and a hockeypuck. A: Mop and Glow. A: You asked for it. The Answer: They found no brain activity. On one occasion frequently rebroadcast on anniversary shows, Carson's desk was replaced with a lightweight balsa-wood version; this allowed Carson to trip and smash through it. As a child of four can , The Question: How do you spell lahgahbahtahqua? A: Quarter Pounder. A: 2001. Q: What comes after Timbuk-one? Q: Describe the sound you make when you break loose from a Function: require_once. says "Having an unclean yak sit on my dinner." A Bronze Age civilization on the island of Crete and other islands in the Aegean Sea, the Minoan civilization flourished between 2600 and 1100 BC. Johnny Carson Carnac the Magnificent replica prop hat. Function: view, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/index.php Related Topics. Line: 479 Images tagged "johnny carson". Q: What's the name of a drink made with beer and prune CARNAC: May the swami of Bagdad squat on your fez. Line: 68 A: A nine foot base with two feet of powder. Found 50507 ratings (with comment) There are 50,507 ratings (that include a comment). The Temple was destroyed, and Israel was left with neither kings nor kingdom. A list of Carnac the Magnificent puns! Q: Name a jewel, a tool and a fool. Q: What do you say when you want to get your Gung to stop? Return to Carnac the Vote Devining Consultant Page "I've seen sex, and I think it's OK." -- Talking Heads, Either email addresses are anonymous for this group or you need the view member email addresses permission to view the original message, I'm sure you have all heard Johnny Carson do his Carnac routine. Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be? I've often used Carnac in my work, pretending to be him, when confronted with the unknowable, the unanswerable, the irrational questions for which no reasonable responses are going to solve the problem. Currently showing results page 1,636 of 2,021. ", "May the fairy god-camel leave a lump on your pillow! A: Rub-a-dub-dub. 1981 | TV-14 | CC. Q: What do cannibals find hard to digest? Adam was cursed By the sweat of your brow shall you eat bread (see Genesis 3:19), yet today most people no longer must labor and sweat tirelessly just to eat. May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. Johnny Carson entertained audiences for 30 years as the host of The Tonight Show. From Carnac the Magnificent to his very close encounter with a python, heres our list of Carsons greatest moments. (In one episode, technicians rigged Carsons desk to fall apart when Carnac fell into it. 1952? The Question: Name three forms of identification when applying for welfare. A: Shareholder. Q: What's a rude thing to say when you're dropping a bomb Carnac: May the nurse in your hospital room bring you a frozen bedpan. . Q: What do you call getting slapped around by a German king? 200 views, 3 upvotes. Q: What does the Tidy Bowl man yell when he hears flushing? 42 results for "carnac hat" RESULTS. The perfect Carnac The Magnificent Johnny Carson The Tonight Show Animated GIF for your conversation. . alley? A: "Here's Boomer." Q: What noise does Mr. McMahon's liver make? A: O'Hare. Q: What does a president look for in a singles bar? Get a random spoof news story. Q: What do crabs get high on? The Question: What is Kamala Harris strange path to the presidency? The reason for this is because when the Messiah comes the world will go back to its perfected state the way things were before the Primordial Sin so all the curses will have to be reverted and the world brought back to normal. Q: How do you tell a Sha not to do something? but you, in your divine and mystical way, will ascertain the answers to these CARNAC: May an evil genie put splinters in your Aurora If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. night? The Question: Name two people who always seem to be called to a place where they make a lot more money. "Some sad news from Australia.the inventor of the boomerang grenadedied today. A: Unleash. A: Jaws 2 and Capricorn One. A: Blazing Saddles. ft. coverage regular price $109.95 Calendar & Tip Sheet January Calendar January Tipsheet Marty's Acre Drinks on the Acre February 13 - 5:30 PM The 2nd Monday of every month we invite you to join us on location at Marty's Acre to talk gardening and enjoy a selection of brew chosen by Marty. A client of mine was hosting a dinner party, wanted to entertain her guests by re-enacting this skit between Johnny Carson and Ed . BILLINGSGATE POST: Johnny Carson was the very best. Function: _error_handler, Message: Invalid argument supplied for foreach(), File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_modal.php One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically"divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Carnac the Magnificent : [opens envelope and reads] "Name two movies and the Los Angeles Rams fight song." Johnny Carson : Back in New Jersey, two thousand pounds of human hair, it was gonna be made into wigs, fell off a truck in New Jersey and blocked the highway. , The Question: What is the female version of Viagra? The Question: Whats the name of the hooker Clarnac took the prom during his senior year in high school? One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. A: Lo-fat. CARNAC: May a crazed furniture refinisher stain your This crowd is tougher than a camel pot roast. The Question: Whats the difference between a dollar bill and LeBron James? [+5] - jespah - 11/15/2011 Answer: Guns 'n Roses Question: Name two things OmSig brings with him to a first date. A: Los Angeles Dodgers. grenade? B. (crowd cheers). Maybe someday we'll have a cannonical list.-- Al Schwartz Pacesetter Systems, Inc., Sylmar, CAUUCP: {ttidca|ihnp4|sdcrdcf|quad1|nrcvax|bellcore|logico}!psivax!alARPA: ttidca!psivax!a@rand-unix.arpa. The Question: Why do they lock gas station restrooms? Similar Items. Organized in groups of 10. Q: Describe Raymond Burr's undershorts. Q: What do you need after Hamburger Helper? CARNAC: May a carsick mongoose change the color of your "Oh, A: Jello and "Charlie's Angels." Carnac the Magnificent was one of the highlights of the Johnny Carson Show. A: An emerald, a screwdriver, and Chuck Barris. May your Perrier water be secretly bottled in Tijuana. Q: What do you call it when old topless dancers refuse to , The Question: Whats the only way to get your spouse to listen to you? A: A thousand clowns. . Discover and Share the best GIFs on Tenor. Q: What have the oil companies given our wildlife? In fact, had Bilaam been successful in his attempt to curse us, the Jewish people would have been destroyed, G-d forbid. A: Until he gets caught. May a crazy holy man set fire to your nose hair. A: "Yes man." Q: Describe Mrs. Stillman on a bus that doesn't make rest Oh, I forgot! Audience reaction played a major role in the skit. Q: What would Republicans use to eavesdrop on a hooker? Get Image May your only daughter take up with a yak of another faith. A: Short eyes. CARNAC: May the winds of the Sahara blow a desert scorpion Q. "Reading the contents of the envelope:"Name three things that have yeast. Q: Who old do you have to be to date Princess Margaret? Carnac was added to AlternativeTo by Gbeworld on Mar 16, 2013 and this page was last updated Oct 20, 2021. all positive negative relevance date. Q: How long does a United States Congressman serve? ANSWER: Gatorade. Carnac held each envelope to his forehead while "divining" the answer, then tore open the end of the envelope and loudly blew into it before removing the index card with the question. A: Disjoint. A: A full moon The Question: What is the name of Trumps new Vodka? The Question: What does Stacy Abrams call Tuesday? We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers. A: All the President's men. Q: Who won't be let out to see the picture? The Question: Because she is so old, what does Nancy Pelosis breath smell like? Icons & Idols Hollywood (#1212) 12/01/2011 9:00 AM PST CLOSED! Find Funny GIFs, Cute GIFs, Reaction GIFs and more. It was named in honor of the ancient Hagia Sophia in Constantinople and played a crucial role . Q: What is the total of Bo Derek and Phyllis Diller? station? pants. Q: Name the father of Mrs. Olsen's illegitamate baby. car industry. A: Groundhog. Hand made. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. A: Executive action. Q: What does the Jolly Green Giant use to hitchike with? A: Gatorade. Clarnac: This crowd is tougher than a camel pot roast. , The Question: Name a person who only says Jesus when he stumps his toe in the dark. The Question: Name the only three people in the world making any money off going green. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. Q: What should be posted on Howard Cosell's tongue? your only sister. ", Ed McMahon's favorite Carnac the Magnificent punchline[5]. , The Question: Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were in Congress. Carnac the Magnificent answers "A 100 yard dash" on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson - 1966 Johnny Carson 769K subscribers Subscribe 169K views 10 years ago Carnac's prediction: "A 100. A: De-frost. , The Question: What is the official state bird of Mississippi? Q: How would a wino see the three musketeers. , The Question: What is the longest sentence in the world? A: Fit to be tied. Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. A: Snap, crackle, pop. [Ed Ames has thrown a tomahawk across the stage, hitting a painting of a cowboy straight in the "crotch". Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/page/index.php Q: Describe Sister Mary Kong. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. If you are of a certain age, you might yet remember Carnac the Magnificent, a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Carnac the Magnificent was a role played by Johnny Carson on "The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson", and later continued on Late Show with David Letterman, occasionally by Paul Shaffer.One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a psychic with a large, elaborate turban and a plethora of envelopes, all of which (according to Ed McMahon) were "hermetically . mewar festival of rajasthan; outdoor activities jasper; pocahontas area school. Reviewed in the United States on April 2, 2015. I hold in my hand these -- -------------------------------------------------------------"they forcibly extracted the word 'but' from his vocabulary, and locked him in a room with 10 economists"-------------------------------------------------------------. The announcement implied Carnac was responsible for some scandal or disaster currently in the news, as "And now, the great seer, soothsayer, and sage, Carnac the Magnificent." "carnac the magnificent" Memes & GIFs. The Question: What is the only kind of science the president, the CDC, the FDA, Fauci, Big Pharma, and the media use to promote their COVID agendas? May you fall in the outhouse just as a regiment of Ukrainians finishes aprune stew and twelve barrels of beer. Q: How many football games were televised over Then, he would read the question: What does an alligator get on welfare? Some of the jokes were feeble, and McMahon used pauses after terrible puns and audience groans to make light of Carsons lack of comic success (Carnac must be used to quiet surroundings), prompting Carson to return an equal insult. The Question: Name five things Dolly Partin has. In his final message, Carson choked back tears while thanking fans for their continual support. CARNAC: May a camel with a weak kidney condition find your After Carnac said an answer, McMahon would frequently repeat it in a booming voice ostensibly as a help to the audience setting up a sneer, putdown, or some other comic reaction from Carson. Q: What did the dead raccoon say in his will? The Answer: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. There are a couple of ideas I've had to make this and I'm not sure which one would work best - and possibly there are other . . Q: What's the major cause of divorce? "May a misguided platypus lay its eggs in your jockey shorts", or "May a confused weightlifter clean and jerk your sister", or "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits". I note with amusement the "Fuck Your Feelings" crowd's epic hissy-fit stompy-foot meltdown over the fact that I referred to Trump's "Diaper Valet" in a tweet yesterday. Are you sure you want to cancel your membership with us? , The Question: What is the most compelling reason for a mask mandate? The Answer: Under Willie Brown and through Joe Bidens colon. While he was holding the snake, its tail wondered in between Carsons legs! The comedy came from an unexpected question following a seemingly straightforward answer. These curses were always absurd, and many of them involved yaks, as in: "May an unclean yak sit on your dinner." "May a sick yak leave a gift in your sock drawer." "May a bloated yak change the temperature of your . [1] A: Ironware. The Answer: Big Ben, Dak Prescott, and a politicians campaign promises. , The Question: Why didnt Mrs. Franklin have any kids? A little hard to keep on. Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/page/index.php ", and "9W" was the answer to "Mr. Wagner, do you spell your name with a V?" Amazingly, we see the Vilna Gaons prediction coming true in our own times, as many of the curses mentioned in the Bible have already disappeared. be sending Georgia soon? Carnac the Magnificent: Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.One of Carson's most well-known . . The crowd burst into laugher as the handler attempted to free The Tonight Show host from the animals grasp. Clarnac: May a toothless holy man give your grandmother a hickey. A: Roman Gabriel, Lance Ramsell and Howrd Cosell May a sick ox make bubbles in your hot tub. Alas, poor Yorick, dont forget your American Express card! A: Roots. Contents Interestingly, the Talmud in Sanhedrin 105b states that even though Bilaam;s curses were changed to blessings at that time, they all eventually reverted to curses, except for the blessing of Batei Keneses and Batei Midrash. As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. Q: What would you find in Superman's bathroom? Carnac: May the fleas of a thousand camels nest in your underpants. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show. Q: Name an Eskimo porno film. A: At both ends. Gotta be , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop! Q: When should you plan on making a rest stop at a gas The Answer: Kids, drunk people and tight yoga pants. Men's Giant Turban Costume Accessory.

Exposing Spirit Spouses Stephen Darby, Hornberger Funeral Home Clarksdale, Ms, Articles C